For over three decades, a band of friends faithfully met every week to immerse themselves in the fantasy world of Dungeons & Dragons. However, in 2020, a political divide disrupted their cherished tradition. Two of the players, Tom Candela and Michael Youssouf, shared their story with StoryCorps.
The Beginnings of a Gaming Tradition
Tom Candela reminisced about the origins of their weekly gatherings, which began around 1986. “We would rent a hotel in the Catskills and play D&D for the entire weekend,” he recalled. Alongside their gaming sessions was a feast of “every junk food known to mankind,” as Michael Youssouf humorously noted.
The camaraderie extended beyond the game itself. Youssouf recounted an incident when his wife was eight months pregnant, and the phone rang during a session. Despite the urgency, the group was engrossed in a battle, prompting Candela to drive Youssouf home, much to everyone’s amusement. These moments, according to Youssouf, fostered a sense of closeness, even serving as a form of group therapy.
A Rift Emerges
The group’s harmony was tested during the COVID-19 pandemic when they transitioned to playing via Zoom. Candela and the group’s Dungeon Master, Steve, shared a unique friendship, often using special nicknames for each other. However, when Steve addressed Candela by his real name, it signaled a change. An email from Steve subsequently revealed that Candela’s support for Donald Trump was “unacceptable” to him, leading to a temporary end to their friendship.
Reflecting on the schism, Youssouf expressed surprise and noted, “I look at our country, I look at me and you, and I would only focus on the differences. But then – and I go, wait a minute. Of the 10,000 things that make up a human being, we have 20 things that we strongly disagree with. The other 9,980 things that we both agree on.”
Finding Common Ground
Candela agreed, emphasizing the dangers of certainty in any belief, whether political or otherwise. He pointed out, “If you live in certainty all the time…you’re cutting yourself off from the possibilities.” Youssouf expressed a desire to mend the rift, saying, “Thomas, I love you, and I want to get you back in the game ’cause the group could use you.” Their conversation highlighted the importance of focusing on shared interests rather than differences.
Tom Candela and Michael Youssouf participated in StoryCorps’ One Small Step program, which aims to bring people together to discuss their differences. More information can be found at takeonesmallstep.org.
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